BC for Easter: Rainy, cold, and slow drivers. BAD!

Recently, we took a trip to BC to visit family and friends.  Let me tell you, this place is hardly the “best place on earth.”

First of all, it rained basically the whole time AND it even snowed while we went over the Kootenay pass so we could hardly even see the mountains. Can’t anyone do something about this? Is this really where our tax dollars go? As if that wasn’t enough, they kept advertising wildlife along the highway but we hardly saw anything cool except a bunch of grumpy deer and some gross cows. There were deer LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. To be honest, it seemed kinda dangerous – they weren’t even enclosed. Like, are they friendly? I was too scared to try and pet them, but you KNOW I stopped on the narrow highway to take a bunch of pictures. I even almost got run-over! I dunno, I’d recommend that they put out more moose, though, because I’ve never seen one of those before. I feel like a lot of people feel the same way. Just something to think about.


When we passed the BC border we noticed that a bunch of BC drivers tailgated us through the windy highways. RUDE. The signs CLEARLY suggest going as slow as 30 km around the corners, and they’re like hella scary so I WAS OBVIOUSLY going to go even slower than that. I’m not a trained Nascar driver, okay. Are you? Besides, I made up for it on the straight stretches by driving even faster than all the BC drivers. So, I’m pretty sure it all evened out. Like, just chill, okay? I’m basically flourishing your economy by my presence, so you should probably be a little more hospitable.

Finally we made it to the Kootenays – a cluster of tiny towns in the interior of BC – and the people were super friendly. Suspiciously so, actually. They would just wave while I drove down the street. Like do I know you? It was weird. In restaurants, people would just come up to me and start chatting about their cat’s food allergies and how So-and-So’s cousin was back in jail. I mean, I totally took the bait and shared as much personal information about people in my world because of my social anxiety, but that’s weird right? Who does that?

We went to a few food-places that were pretty okay. Like the Rossland Beer Company, which served fresh brewed, rotating beers on tap and a cider out of the Okanagan. CaptureSure the beer was delicious, the vibe and staff were incredible (they even asked me how I old I was to make sure I was legal – um, THANK YOU for noticing how young I look), and the tasting room was in a funky old garage right off “downtown” Rossland… But they didn’t even serve AGD. And as Mindy Kaling would say, Exsqueeze me? How do you not serve premium Albertan lager?

We wandered around town with friends, we absolutely did NOT climb any buildings illegally, and then we played a game called “Neglin” at The Flying Steamshovel. The game is where you have a wood stump (i.e. from a tree) and you hammer nails into it. No, there’s no catch, that’s literally all it is.

The following day, we just “kicked back and listened to local radio” (as suggested by a local tourism website), because Kootenay Lake was too cold and too picturesque to swim in. Ugh, LAME.


Plus the clouds COMPLETELY ruined our view. And Ainsworth Hot Springs  was so successful and booming that we could hardly enjoy ourselves in the most unique and cozy hot spring experience of all of Canada. I mean, I know the caves are natural but it would just be nice if they were a bit more welcoming. Perhaps some track lighting, exquisite seating, or a no-children policy. Just sayin’.

Anyway, BC was okay. Like, whatever. I don’t miss it at all. I’m totally okay with being Albertan now. Totally.



Office Administration for Dummies

As I’ve alluded to, I have been a student for literally ever. Like, I was born, I waddled around for a few years because I was a toddler, I started Kindergarten, AND I HAVE NEVER LEFT ACADEMIA SINCE. So, when I started one of my first (albeit temporary) office jobs a couple of months ago, I had a couple of things to get used to. At first, I was all, “I HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY DAY?”  But now, I’ve got the whole work schedule thing down. This is what I’ve learned.


8:30 – Arrive to work. Be there 5 minutes early so it looks like you got there 10 minutes early. If you’re late, spend extra 5 minutes explaining how bad the roads were, which is likely not why you were late at all, but it’s Canada, so it’s always a reliable excuse. If it was the reason you were late, exaggerate the amount of near-collisions you witnessed so people believe you. Ugh, [Current Rival Province] drivers. They’re the worst.

8:45 – Morning meeting to talk about who’s doing what because So-and-So stayed home sick again. Do that for about 45 seconds. Spend remaining 9 minutes and 15 seconds talking about what you did the night before. This builds a strong sense of comradery.

9:00 – Complain about the office being too cold.

9:15 – Check E-mail.

9:45 – You know what, the office is actually quite warm. Encourage coworkers to wear a warmer sweater.

10: 15 – Go for coffee.

11:00 – Check E-mail. Respond to invite for Office Potluck, forgetting immediately what day it’s scheduled on.

11:30 – Complain loudly about someone wearing too much perfume or cologne in hopes to passive-aggressively remind them how allergic you are.

12:00 – Lunch. Leave packed lunch in the fridge and grab something from a nearby food truck, because you literally can’t even stick to your meal plan today. Have someone probably named Karen tell you how good your food looks while they pretend to be upset about eating their homemade salad packed in a mason jar. You know you’re not jealous, Karen. We both know I’ve given up and gained that 5 lbs back. Enjoy your sustainably grown and packaged lettuce.

1:15 – Check E-mail. Avoid tricky ones, because you can deal with it tomorrow. What are you, a robot?

1:45 – Head to meeting. Naturally, complain about temperature/humidity/lighting of the room. Do. Not. Fall. Asleep.

3:30 – Go for coffee.

4:00 – Scramble to finish all the work you were supposed to do for the day.

4:35 – Leave the office 5 minutes late feeling a humble sense of accomplishment because you stayed late. Again.

Good work, self.

My neurotic inner voice is telling me that I should end with a note to remind you, i.e. current or potential employer, that this is an exaggerated account because I think I’m funnier than I probably am. Regardless, my colleagues and I work very hard. Though we are concerned for our circulation when the building is consistently so cold, we are nonetheless committed to excellence. I assure you I have been regularly recognized for my work ethic, professionalism, and productivity. Thank you for your continued support or future consideration.