Recently, we took a trip to BC to visit family and friends. Let me tell you, this place is hardly the “best place on earth.”
First of all, it rained basically the whole time AND it even snowed while we went over the Kootenay pass so we could hardly even see the mountains. Can’t anyone do something about this? Is this really where our tax dollars go? As if that wasn’t enough, they kept advertising wildlife along the highway but we hardly saw anything cool except a bunch of grumpy deer and some gross cows. There were deer LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. To be honest, it seemed kinda dangerous – they weren’t even enclosed. Like, are they friendly? I was too scared to try and pet them, but you KNOW I stopped on the narrow highway to take a bunch of pictures. I even almost got run-over! I dunno, I’d recommend that they put out more moose, though, because I’ve never seen one of those before. I feel like a lot of people feel the same way. Just something to think about.
When we passed the BC border we noticed that a bunch of BC drivers tailgated us through the windy highways. RUDE. The signs CLEARLY suggest going as slow as 30 km around the corners, and they’re like hella scary so I WAS OBVIOUSLY going to go even slower than that. I’m not a trained Nascar driver, okay. Are you? Besides, I made up for it on the straight stretches by driving even faster than all the BC drivers. So, I’m pretty sure it all evened out. Like, just chill, okay? I’m basically flourishing your economy by my presence, so you should probably be a little more hospitable.
Finally we made it to the Kootenays – a cluster of tiny towns in the interior of BC – and the people were super friendly. Suspiciously so, actually. They would just wave while I drove down the street. Like do I know you? It was weird. In restaurants, people would just come up to me and start chatting about their cat’s food allergies and how So-and-So’s cousin was back in jail. I mean, I totally took the bait and shared as much personal information about people in my world because of my social anxiety, but that’s weird right? Who does that?
We went to a few food-places that were pretty okay. Like the Rossland Beer Company, which served fresh brewed, rotating beers on tap and a cider out of the Okanagan. Sure the beer was delicious, the vibe and staff were incredible (they even asked me how I old I was to make sure I was legal – um, THANK YOU for noticing how young I look), and the tasting room was in a funky old garage right off “downtown” Rossland… But they didn’t even serve AGD. And as Mindy Kaling would say, Exsqueeze me? How do you not serve premium Albertan lager?
We wandered around town with friends, we absolutely did NOT climb any buildings illegally, and then we played a game called “Neglin” at The Flying Steamshovel. The game is where you have a wood stump (i.e. from a tree) and you hammer nails into it. No, there’s no catch, that’s literally all it is.
The following day, we just “kicked back and listened to local radio” (as suggested by a local tourism website), because Kootenay Lake was too cold and too picturesque to swim in. Ugh, LAME.
Plus the clouds COMPLETELY ruined our view. And Ainsworth Hot Springs was so successful and booming that we could hardly enjoy ourselves in the most unique and cozy hot spring experience of all of Canada. I mean, I know the caves are natural but it would just be nice if they were a bit more welcoming. Perhaps some track lighting, exquisite seating, or a no-children policy. Just sayin’.
Anyway, BC was okay. Like, whatever. I don’t miss it at all. I’m totally okay with being Albertan now. Totally.